i am so tired. so freaking tired. and i am so jealous. so jealous. of him, her or what or why or where, i do not know. its most probably a combination of all. ugh. i want to burst into tears right now ughhh.

i mind. i really really need to stop but i still do.

youknowwhat, just. good night. i just want to bury my head and escape and sleep. i don't feel like doing anything at all right now but i don't want to sleep either because i don't like whats going on in my head...just before i go to bed. =.= and i'll still have to wake up and face it anyway. which i don't want to. i dont!!!!!!

"Opened my eyes, yeah
It was only just a dream."

I wonder how dreams are input into our sleep, and I wonder if He knows the reason and purpose of my dream...if there is even a reason or purpose to it (in the first place) or if it is by His will that I have such dreams. Hmm.

All in all, I would say.....horrendous dream which made me think back to so much and so long ago. But I was superbly happy in the dream, so happy I could explode. Actually it would be a happy dream.....if only. If.Only.

Honestly, WHY this dream? WHY. =.= Been mulling, mulling the whole day because of it, digging, remembering.. sigh.
But well, its just a wisp of a dream which I will eventually forget and which will only ever be...just a dream.

and THIS IS WHY I WILL NOT, CANNOT, AND AM UNABLE TO STOP LOVING BIG BANG AND G DRAGON. I reblogged the first vid on my tumblr some time ago, but I didn't actually watch their parody until yesterday, and i ABSOLUTELY FELL IN LOVE WITH IT. I mean, the 2NE1 song is already so catchy, and... add Big Bang's DANCING to it, doing the sexy girl moves.... HAHA. IT IS AMAZING. I LOVE THEIR DANCING AND I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT! I am so glad they are finally making their comeback. I have definitely missed them. I can't believe it either, that I would actually miss a band, but their absence from the kpop industry really leaves something like a stark, big, gaping hole for me. Kpop just feels like there is something MISSING. Though their style kind of differs from the normal kpop... and they definitely lean alot towards Western stuff.. Anyway I was so glad for and lapping up every last bit of their fully released track for their upcoming Alive album. Its the only one which has the full mv and version out for now!!! aahhh.. eagerly waiting for february 29 when the full album will be released! Seeing them all in their new MV, with my handsome GD (WHEW i am SO GLAD that his hair from the concept photos did NOT make it into the MV because, I'm really sorry, but add that hairstyle to the list of his hairstyles which i do not agree with ahahahha...but nevertheless I really do respect him for always being so daring and different and to not be afraid to show his individualism and try out all sorts of weird things) on screen and active again, aahhh...i felt SO GLAD. And the song is nice too!!! please. their dancing.... THEIR BODY WAVES (from the I am the best parody..ESP DAESUNG! AND GD!!!!)....me.... *ashamed* HAHA.

And this! has more or less confirmed me as an audience for their world tour concert...whenever it may be and HOPEFULLY they will come to Singapore....or well, make that WHEREVER it may be then, I SHALL GO. I think I will have the time of my life listening to their songs and hearing GD's smooth lovely rapping, which, up til this day, noone seems to be able to beat or even come close to comparison. HAHA. (this is just in my own opinion of course :D)

I'm really amazed by how much emotion the fairy tail manga can convey..I think it stirs up more emotions in me than the anime..which I find really amazing because usually shows are supposed to make you feel more emotional? With all the soundstracks and the voices and all. I don't know how to explain how come his manga makes me more emotional...I suck in absolutely every picture he draws and I feel myself absorbed and immersed into the characters worlds and emotions. It helps that his drawings are usually quite easy to make out, because the main problem that I have with reading manga is that sometimes I really can't tell what is inside the picture. HAHA.

His manga clearly portrays the emotions of the characters and I really feel for them and along with them too. I cried when I read the chapter about Jellal leaving and being locked up...but I didnt cry when I saw the episode of that. And I'm on the verge of tears when I read Erza's arc...all her tears and sadness, I can feel it from the manga...but in the anime, though it was really sad and i was sad too, well not as tear inducing I guess. I really like Erza, and she is so beautiful in the manga. She's so strong yet vulnerable at the same time..and I really like characters which can hold their own and are not damsels in distress. I don't mind damsels in distress I guess, IF they do make an effort to at least try and do something. And I'm so glad Erza's story is going in the direction which I like...hehehe. Call it Mr Hiro's fan service or whatever, but it still makes me feel so warm inside. And at least the romance in there is not at all cliched...it was so complicated and heart breaking and tough for Erza and Jellal to get to where they are and I am happy for them whereever they are at now. I'm lapping up every Jerza moment there is! And anxiously and eagerly awaiting every new chapter ;D

Alright I have to leave NOW. As usual I think I am going to be running abit late. hmmm. sigh. and I'm not getting any replies from the places i reallly really want to work at T.T aaahhh pleaseeee. sigh.
and no false hopes please =.=

byeee of I go.