my heart is hurting and aching like crap.
too tired to say more even though a thousand thoughts were whirring about my head just now.
feeling so........
sad.
its killing me.
and i feel so insecure about going now.
good night.

A simple phone call with contents nothing special or interesting or important at all can make me so happy. I really smile everytime I think about it.
I finally hear the voice which I miss and long for so immensely much.
I can't believe a single phone call can evoke this much emotion. Maybe it was just the voice. The voice which means you're REALLY talking to me, giving me that short span of attention. The voice, which is YOURS. And that's all the reason I need to feel this utmost amount of joy.
I REALLY REALLY REALLY miss you. And I really really really want to see you. I really really do.
As a friend.
...

I still don't know if I can...
Emotions are volatile, they will flip, I am sure, when things are presented to me differently.
I think its madness the way someone can have a control over us.

You don't know how I value this call, even though i made it, and even though it was seriously about nothing at all- a kind of call you'd answer to anyone.
I want to cry as I think of the times we can't share together anymore. and I know you don't even care.
This is going nowhere, and I need help.