thanks for always caring a whole fat lot.



yeah right.
i always have to do the asking first, always have to show the care and concern first. its always me me me, towards everybody. and i dont get anything. seriously. i can't take this anymuch longer. why must it always be ME. me asking, caring, showing concern, putting in effort. i'm asgfasb tired of it all.
i'm feeling aosn sgbs right now. actually, always been. i just don't show. always trying to pretend, thinking maybe by doing so it might go away.
i'm sinking so deep, i know noone really has a hand out there for me to hold or grab.
people always have it going for them. people just fall over them. fine. be that way.
i know once u all have so many people showing care and concern, you dont actually have to bother much about others. oh the "care and concern", it just burns, and its so fake. you don't actually need me. don't lie, and pretend you care. because, i know you just DONT. NOT A SINGLE BIT SO JUST SHUT UP.
you don't have to wait for me you know. sometimes, i'll be glad for someone to start first. someday. somewhere. somehow.
i never get in. and it hurts so much because i truly care for people. and they probably just can't see. or take it for granted. yes. i'm so used to feeling that way.
too busy being caught up in attention, popularity and outings with others? sure yes i totally understand. go be the person everyone loves. just go. and everyone, just go too. just don't reciprocate, yes. just continue taking all this for granted. just continue to be not appreciative.
doing and trying so much, but getting absolutely nothing. it totally sucks.
i feel totally in the pits today. down and really sad. but, i have nobody here.
go ahead pretending like you care. whatever. i know the truth. once you have the world and that popularity and the people, i know you're just gonna live that life. you'll never understand how i feel, how i've felt and how i'm feeling.
its such a sickening, sinking, rotten feeling. DON'T PRETEND you know it. DON'T. you never have to.
nobody can tell that anything's wrong. are they immune or am i just damn good at acting and always acting like everything's normal. i wonder how come people just can't tell. ha.