Why won't it work out for me, when others seem to have it so easy. Even though I pray so hard, so fervently, this aspect still hasn't been answered. If I've always been blessed with what I truly desire and want, can't this be included too? It's been a long long time.
Today makes it hard too. Being in such an unfamiliar place, with so many unfamiliar people, not being able to have my darling same tuition friends, its really terrible. it makes me miss all of you so so extremely extremely absolutely MUCH. I wish soo hard that we could still be the same class, working and joking around with each other. It's the place i always always looked forward to going. But now, we're all dispersed. It's so miserable. Thinking about it really just makes me want to cry. Sure, i go there to learn, and I must convince myself so. But I just wished I had all of you all with me. :( Knowing i can't talk to you about this makes me utterly sad. i want you guys, and nobody else. we must continue seeing each other and having gatherings!

I think I understand how my bro is feeling (well, partially), since i'm also feeling like how he is. its not a nice feeling. help me, do something, SAY something, ASK me. i can't believe you're that thick and dense. even so, i still can't help myself. and, you've become better. just don't become thatt outlandish hahaha! miss you and i neeeed to see you.